The Midnight Snack Summoning Ritual (According to Ruby)

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Hello, human. It’s me, Ruby. Your beloved commander. I need you to understand something important. When the clock strikes “way too late,” I enter my most powerful form. My eyes glow. My paws activate. My stomach sings the Song of Its People. This is the Midnight Snack Summoning Ritual.

You think I ate dinner. I think you’re misinformed.

So I begin Phase One. The soft shuffle. The gentle sigh. The dramatic flop that rattles the galaxy. If you resist, I escalate to Phase Two: staring directly into your soul until you rise from bed like a summoned minion.

You call it manipulation. I call it survival.

If you’d like to automate your obedience, consider installing one of those shiny automatic feeders, slow-feeder bowls, or treat puzzles. They keep my brain busy and your sleep uninterrupted.

But make no mistake. I will still test the ritual. It’s tradition.