Why I Sit On You Immediately After You Sit Down

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Let’s clear this up. When you sit, I sit on you because:

You are warm. I own you. This is how I claim my throne. It’s not clinginess. It’s governance. You are my chosen seat. My cushion. My personal heated chair with emotional support capabilities.

If you’d like to redirect me — which is adorable — you may place cozy blankets, calming beds, or soft pet pillows nearby. I will ignore them for six to eight months, then suddenly decide one is my favorite and act like it was my idea.

This is Everyday Pet Magic. You sit. I sit. That’s the law.